Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Why I need a new blog...

                                                                    Source: iobad.com via Kaia on Pinterest

I often complain that the last two years of my life have been some of the most emotionally difficult that I have ever had. I left a job that I loved. A job that was, if I may be dramatic, my calling.  My ministry in life, if you will. I decide to try my hand at staying at home with my son, partially because it seemed the “right thing to do” and partly because we were going to start the foster-to-adopt process upon moving. The plan was to finish out our family through adoption and I would begin getting my master’s degree, putting us in a great place for me to concentrate on building my career.  (Note: I would say rebuilding but, alas, the saddest part about being in law enforcement is that, when you leave, that is it. You have to start from Step 1, all over again, assuming you are still under the age limits. And I am sliding down a hill fairly quickly towards “too old.”)

But, to fast forward two years, our journey to foster-adopt failed. (Yes, failed is a dramatic word, but I call it like I see it.) My son and I had lots of moments of incompatibility in our constant together-ness. I learned I suck at full-time housekeeping. It has seemed like these two years have been a long lesson in parenting hard-knocks, accepting that dreams do not come true (or atleast in my own timing) and learning to swallow my pride. It hasn’t been fun.

So, to answer the question: why start a new blog? For a couple of reasons but namely: I am ready to move on. I have had a couple of blogs that related to the identity I was trying to build online (with my little Etsy stores.) They weren’t disingenuous but concentrated on the “pretty” in my life (or the one that I was striving for in my head.) But what made me succeed in law enforcement was that I didn’t conform to the stereotype: I was academic, I was a humanitarian. (And most importantly, I didn’t eat donuts. Although I can’t say that I don’t enjoy a chocolate Munchkin or two nowadays.) I don’t know if I will be gainfully employed when we are in South America. (Please say prayers, cross fingers, light candles or send good vibes that I do. Heck, I will even take ungainful employment.) But I want to create a space where I can share it all: the pretty, the ugly, and the personal (and sometimes the stuff at the intersection where all three meet.)

Here is your warning: there is a reason that I chose the name “Way off Base.” Besides being incredibly clever, of course (we are moving away from living near a military base, get it??!)… I overthink things, I talk a lot and I want to have an outlet to share those things (my husband’s ear is going slightly deaf and needs a reprieve.) And sometimes those things will be way off base from my typical pretty pictures and crafty ventures. If you know me, I have no lack of opinions and I am not sure why I have steered away from sharing them online. So, I hope you’ll join me in my epic journey of figuring out where (besides south to Guyana) this next part of life takes me.

(Sarcasm life preservers encouraged.)

3 comments:

Tracey said...

I had nothing to post on my "pretty" blog for nearly 2 years... so I got rid of it. I think I understand where you're at. I know I've been reading a lot of books on finding your passion and bravely living your life and such. It must be so hard to have left your calling. Hope your upcoming adventure is a calm learning experience!

LauraC said...

I know exactly how you feel. I feel like the years 2008 and 2009 were just hit after hit after hit with things not working out how I hoped and planned.

I am excited for you to share your honest thoughts in this space!

And I wanted to share a tidbit from a recent interview from Mondo Beyondo that has given me a lot to think about. Someone said something like, "Why do we worry so much about our plans? All the best things in life are surprises and things we never planned." It's given me a lot to consider as things I never planned (moving to Chicago, meeting Jon, getting two babies instead of one) have brought me the greatest joy.

I can't wait to see how the next part of your story unfolds.

Smallbits said...

I can't wait.

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