Saturday, July 9, 2011

Defining who I am {Military Wife}

5/365 {Home for lunch}

Confession time: I didn’t want to be a “military blogger.”

As far as military wives go, I am not very good at being involved. I won’t shop at any store that tells me how to dress, so the commissary and the exchange are out. After I accidently went two days overdue with a base library book and my husband’s commander got called as a result, I officially swore off all other base services that refused to see me as anything other than “just a dependent.” I struggle with whole heartedly embracing my identity as a Navy wife because that makes me feel like my identity is rooted in what my husband is/does…not who I am.

And I am so many things outside of who I am in relation to my husband...

I am a mother.

A (really slow) jogger.

A lover of vintage Pyrex and modern fabric.

I am forever a police officer in my soul, regardless of my employment status.

I love a good story, one told with words that paint a vivid picture or a story told with no words through photography.

I am a reflection of the experiences I have had, before and with my husband on this journey. But I have realized, recently, that my particular experiences and my unique journey have developed my voice. And I have things to say. And some of those things are about being a military family. It is a different lifestyle (although I still don’t think it has to be so all-encompassing as some make it out to be.) It does come with limitations and rules that I don’t like sometimes but the benefits can be pretty amazing (hello, Disney discount!) I am, and always have been, proud of my husband, our military and of our experience as a Navy family. While my pride does not necessarily define who I am, exclusively, it is an important part of who I am.

So, I will accept the label of “military blogger” proudly.  This weekend, I begin a little gig of being a “weekend warrior” contributor over on the SpouseBUZZ blog on Military.com. Some of my real-life friends may giggle a little to themselves while others may be nodding their heads at the idea that military spouse’s need a voice like mine. What I have to say about being a military spouse may be different than what you expect…you may agree or totally think I am crazy. But isn’t that the beauty of community-that we can all come together, differences and all, to support each other? My first article on SpouseBUZZ is talking about how to build community when it is hard to fit in: head on over and tell me what you think!

4 comments:

Heather Dray said...

Beautifully written, Heather. I think this applies to many in the FS world outside of the military as well. I've often felt heavy-hearted when trying to find "me" in all this muddle of the FS. Because no matter what, my husband's job absolutely affects much (even more than "much") of what I do. But it's not solely who I am.

Smallbits said...

Great post Heather! I really enjoyed it. I am so glad to know you :)

Alana said...

Amen! I totally agree with every word. Yes, I'm a wife to a military man, but that is such a small part of who I am.

And they called your husband's commander over a LIBRARY BOOK? Ridiculous.

rhymeswithspoon said...

Wow. Food for thought. I started seriously dating a Navy guy recently and it's made me think a lot about what that sort of life would look like. (It's not one that I would otherwise choose.) As much as I like this guy (and I like him a lot), I haven't decided if I can deal with everything that comes with that.

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