Waiting...

                                                               Source: homester.com.ua via Marina on Pinterest

I have been quietly waiting.

Well, my thoughts haven't been quiet but I have been trying to adhere to the old "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." But, I don't want my little space here to be a scrubbed and white washed version of my life.

The truth is: if you have been in this mid-move slump before, you understand. Or if you have ever waited for something or someone, you understand. You want that moment to just hurry-up-and-get-here-already!
The moment is almost here. We were supposed to leave this last Monday, but an extra class was added to my husband's schedule. After having a date on the calendar for so long {and counting down to that day} for so long, I have been a bit grumpy over the change. I am tired of living out of a suitcase. I am over not having my own space. (even though I am very grateful for the people who have sacrificed their own personal space so that we could invade it for a time.) I am mentally over being a single parent for the most part. (and I must say that while living with grandparents is amazing for the built-in babysitter and support but there is an exhaustion that comes with having to parent your child with full-time audience. Or is that just me?)
I am ready to get this show on the road.


We leave this Monday. We will live in a hotel for an extended period of time. I will be working and our little man will start pre-K. Large chunks of change will be hitting us at rocket speed and I know I shouldn't wish away this period of resting and waiting. But I am. With the exception of a special birthday celebration on Saturday, I fully admit that I am wishing away the weekend.
(And I will say that I am NOT looking forward to the trip overseas with a newly 4 year old, two Jack Russell Terriers, and 6 suitcases. With a 7 hour layover in New York. And a total of 18 hours. Yikes.)
Bring it on. I have been waiting long enough.

Hello, August.

Have you ever waited for something so long that when you were finally on the brink of it, you got scared? Just like those first impending pained of labor, my heart is gripped with the ebb and flow of fear and anticipation.

August is finally here. We move this month.

The beginning of fall has always been my favorite time of year. New changes come with the seasons turning cooler and school starting. And while the weather won't be turning cold for us, other changes will also come. My little man turns 4. He starts Pre-kindergarden. I anticipate going back to work full time. There will be no corner coffee stores, grocery stores or clothing stores.

And I am beyond excited.

Because this next month will be even more of a whirlwind than the last two months have been, I will {loosely} be participating in Susannah Conway's August Break by posting short, photo-based posts throughout the month of August. {will you join me?}

So, hello, August 2011. You are bound to be exciting.

Summer evenings in the backyard...

grass in your toes

tree swing

sunset coming through the branches

lemonade

sweet smell of flowers in the air

cicada melody in the trees

Americana nostalgia...

Things to do when you are a Stay-at-home-in-someone-else's-home-Mom

Things to do when you are unemployed, dealing with extreme minimalism in the toy/distraction area, and living in someone else's house (who you really want to try to keep intact from sticky fingers):

• Discover public parks and spaces.
• Be a mini-tourist in the area in which you are staying. (Like find a real-life dairy farm and try driving a tractor!)
• Check out the night life and utilize your hosts as babysitters (thanks, grandparents!)
• Work that GPS! Don't get stuck inside...get a map and get out and about.
• Eat copious amounts of ice cream. (It's summer and I am essentially on vacation, right?)

Tunnel Vision and Situational Awareness

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In the police academy, one of the biggest things they warned us about what tunnel vision. In the context of police work, it was where you got focused on one thing and lost perspective of the risks around you. You could be on a traffic stop with a sweet old lady driver and not see the bad guy with a gun in the back seat. Or you could be focused on who you think is the biggest risk and not see the person on the side lines ready to deck you in the back of the head.

And when it comes to dealing with the emotions of being in the midst of change, I am fighting the tunnel vision. We are essentially half way through this transition period, living out of suitcases and moving those suitcases every so often. We don't know when we are flying to post. We will be living in a hotel for an undetermined amount of time when we get there. Will I be employed or not? The unknowns outweigh the knowns and my emotional tunnel vision easily settles into focusing on the frustrations of everything being up in the air. And the biggest problem with tunnel vision? It only heads in one direction: towards more danger. The farther you head down the tunnel, the less perspective you have and the harder it is to get out. And the tunnel vision of negativity is precisely that way.

So how do you combat the tendency to have tunnel vision? The key is perspective. (Also, the police academy thought us to not trust anyone, but that is a post for another day.) You have to make a conscience effort to stop and pay attention to your surroundings. In law enforcement, we called it situational awareness. Situational awareness pays attention to what is ahead and what is behind you. It concentrates on more than just the immediate moment. It pays attention to both logic and gut feelings.

Focus is a good thing... except when it isn't. I could focus on the fact that we will be living in guest bedrooms and hotel rooms for three months and be depressed about the lack of space, privacy or routine. But then I would miss the adventure. I would miss the fact that I am not the only person doing house work. I might only see the fact that my son's behavior is reflecting the upheaval in his little life but then I would miss the fact that I have extra hands to help. I could be upset that we won't be able to settle into our permanent home when we first get to Guyana but then I would miss the benefits of hotel living (no making my bed for a month? pool side dining where someone else does the dishes? I have to get a little excited!)

I am not a Pollyanna. (Chalk it up to the jaded mindset that is engrained in your when you become a cop.) I believe in being realistic and calling things like I see them. But the problem with tunnel vision is that it isn't a realistic view of what is going on in a situation. But I am ditching the narrowly focused tunnel of negativity and adopting a view of situational awareness. I am going to recognize this time in our journey for what it is: hard and challenging. But I am also going to expand my periphery to make sure I don't miss anything along the way!

The Power of Words

My mind and tongue are heavy with the all of the things I wish to say. Personal things. Surface things. But I don't want my words to be just flippant responses to the day or vents about the challenges of living out of suitcase in someone else's house. (Although I may need to have that discussion on here soon...) Or publicize my deep dark secrets about my thoughts on motherhood.  I haven't quite figured out what I want my blog to be. Is it my personal journal? Am I writing to an audience? Are my personal thoughts on something other than moving or military life going to be relevant to the small number of people that read this? (And does it matter?)


The fact is, whether solely for me or for you that read, I need my words. I want them to be used for good. That good may just be for the purpose of cleansing the cluttered space in my brain or there may be someone (even one!) person that can relate to what I write and they can breathe finally, someone else feels the same way I do. But I believe in the power of words. Words that express a purpose and make a change. Big or small, we all write for some reason: we have something to say and we want to be heard. 


If you are a reader of my little space, I would love for you to leave your blog address in the comments so I can read what you have to say. Let me know who you are! Social media can sometimes feels like everyone is talking and nobody is really listening. Let's build a community of support and let's listen to each other words.

Through their eyes...

When your children look at something, really look at something, as parents, we tend to turn our eye in that direction. But often our child's point of interest is something normal to us, something we have seen a million times before. I have been coming to Disney for almost all of my life and while I love it (well, I love it when we don't come in July. Never again, Disney World in July...), certain things have lost their magic. My adult eyes don't see what my son sees. At his age, he views it all with the innocence and newness that childhood brings.

With the new changes and experiences on the way, I can only pray that I see things with such newness and innocence...

Disney dreams tonight...

Source: weheartit.com via Kellie on Pinterest

Tomorrow we wake up and head to the Happiest Place on Earth...

My husband and I have different vacations styles: he believes in infrequent total blowout vacations (Souvenirs! Every meal out!) and I prefer lots of super budget trips...but 11 years of doing Disney together, we have reached a comfortable compromise. While our little man has been to Walt Disney World before as a toddler, he is almost 4 and slightly tops the elusive 40 inch height limit so he can ride everything but the craziest of roller coasters. (Seriously, when did he get so big?)

This trip, I might even break my personal no-souvenir rule...

{Friday Photos} Last Minute Preparations

Last minute tasks are easy to get done when you are blessed with a friend with an amazing playroom and you are listening to some fun podcasts. Laundry, packing and filling up gas tanks: we are off tomorrow!

Monday Morning

Common, a photo by June Vintage on Flickr.

When I worked, I dreaded Mondays.

(Although, in law enforcement, there was no actual "Monday" that began your week...just a technical day that began your strange rotation of days and hours that we called a "work week.")

Now, I rather look forward to the week beginning. It brings a organized schedule and a prospect of goals accomplished. The weekend and its cleaning, family chores and later bedtimes comes to an end and Monday is a reprieve. Monday is the cool down from the last game and the warm up for the next.

This week is our last in this place and the hard work of the pack out and clean up is done. The next weeks bring fun (Disney World! Road trips!) and family (we get to stay with both sets of grandparents during this time.) So, I feel like I am sitting on a bigger, theoretical Monday for our journey to Guyana. The not so fun stuff (traveling on a plane with a 3 year old and two Jack Russell Terriers top the list, closely followed by the having-to-live-in-a-hotel-when-we-get-there) is coming. But I have my calendar all written out, my to-do lists are in order, and I, like on every Monday, feel prepared.

I know that, by Wednesday or Thursday, I will be ready for the weekend. Goals and plans may have had to be altered. So, in this parallel/theoretical week, it will be right about the time that I am flying solo from one state to the other with the kid while the husband is eating out on the Navy's per diem in DC.

But that is how the week rolls sometimes, isn't it? And that is what makes me good for this "job" of "trailing spouse." I organize and plan. I write lists and take orders. But I am equally good at learning to be flexible when the time comes (although I recognize that it takes more effort to maintain that flexibility the older I become.) I can take command as easily as I understand how this (often rigid) process goes, moving via the government.

Just like I know when I write on my Monday morning meal plan that I intend on making a 3 course-dinner on Thursday, I most likely will be eating, exhausted, over a bowl of cereal. That may be how this next "week" goes before we get in Guyana. I have goals: I aim to exercise through each little move, to blog this transition, to take more pictures. Maybe it will happen, maybe I will just get an A for Effort.

But, the best things about Mondays? I will get another "beginning" at the start of next week.

{Shoe} Minimalism

photo: June Vintage on Flickr.

What I am loving right now: my Kork-Ease Ava wedges..Natural color matches everything, dresses up or goes casual...perfect when living out of a suitcase and down to the bare minimum!

{PS...I just did this whole post with my new Ipad...total love fest!}
{PPS...I really need a pedicure.}

From where I sit...

Today, I sat in my house observing, changing from sitting on the bed to various chairs as the movers took pieces of furniture out from under me. I filled out my calendar with important dates for the months to come. I planned last playdates, doctor appointments and dinners with friends before we go. The bittersweet excitement that comes with change was poignant in these quiet moments of merely being present as the movers worked.

Tonight, I sit in a {very generous} friend's home, our temporary residence until we head through three different states for my husband to get prepared through schools and meetings for this new job. Two of the military bases happen to be next to both of our parents. One meeting may allow for a short getaway alone for my husband and I. We may even fit in a couple of days at the Happiest Place on Earth. Despite the upcoming whirlwind, despite my worldly possessions being put on a container shipment headed south, despite being essentially homeless, from where I sit, the view looks pretty good.

Why I need a new blog...

                                                                    Source: iobad.com via Kaia on Pinterest

I often complain that the last two years of my life have been some of the most emotionally difficult that I have ever had. I left a job that I loved. A job that was, if I may be dramatic, my calling.  My ministry in life, if you will. I decide to try my hand at staying at home with my son, partially because it seemed the “right thing to do” and partly because we were going to start the foster-to-adopt process upon moving. The plan was to finish out our family through adoption and I would begin getting my master’s degree, putting us in a great place for me to concentrate on building my career.  (Note: I would say rebuilding but, alas, the saddest part about being in law enforcement is that, when you leave, that is it. You have to start from Step 1, all over again, assuming you are still under the age limits. And I am sliding down a hill fairly quickly towards “too old.”)

But, to fast forward two years, our journey to foster-adopt failed. (Yes, failed is a dramatic word, but I call it like I see it.) My son and I had lots of moments of incompatibility in our constant together-ness. I learned I suck at full-time housekeeping. It has seemed like these two years have been a long lesson in parenting hard-knocks, accepting that dreams do not come true (or atleast in my own timing) and learning to swallow my pride. It hasn’t been fun.

So, to answer the question: why start a new blog? For a couple of reasons but namely: I am ready to move on. I have had a couple of blogs that related to the identity I was trying to build online (with my little Etsy stores.) They weren’t disingenuous but concentrated on the “pretty” in my life (or the one that I was striving for in my head.) But what made me succeed in law enforcement was that I didn’t conform to the stereotype: I was academic, I was a humanitarian. (And most importantly, I didn’t eat donuts. Although I can’t say that I don’t enjoy a chocolate Munchkin or two nowadays.) I don’t know if I will be gainfully employed when we are in South America. (Please say prayers, cross fingers, light candles or send good vibes that I do. Heck, I will even take ungainful employment.) But I want to create a space where I can share it all: the pretty, the ugly, and the personal (and sometimes the stuff at the intersection where all three meet.)

Here is your warning: there is a reason that I chose the name “Way off Base.” Besides being incredibly clever, of course (we are moving away from living near a military base, get it??!)… I overthink things, I talk a lot and I want to have an outlet to share those things (my husband’s ear is going slightly deaf and needs a reprieve.) And sometimes those things will be way off base from my typical pretty pictures and crafty ventures. If you know me, I have no lack of opinions and I am not sure why I have steered away from sharing them online. So, I hope you’ll join me in my epic journey of figuring out where (besides south to Guyana) this next part of life takes me.

(Sarcasm life preservers encouraged.)

Revisiting the {Before we go} Bucket List

We knocked out #5 on our before-we-go-bucket-list on Friday night to celebrate our wedding anniversary...Blackberry mojitos, tapas bar by candlelight, and electric excitement of a busy downtown sidewalk. It was perfect.

Happy {11th} Anniversary to us.

                                                                                            Source: etsy.com via Heather on Pinterest

11 years ago, I married the person who would become my best friend, my biggest cheerleader and the love of my life. We were crazy young and have been dating for all of about five minutes...I am sure people thought we were crazy (or, lets be real, most people thought we were pregnant) but we have successfully maneuvered each difficult pothole and roadblock along our journey. Now, as we are on the brink of another adventure, I am comforted in knowing that we are in it together. 

Living the dream...Happy 11th Anniversary...

My Not to Do List

                                                                             Source: julia.blogg.se via Megan on Pinterest

I am a list maker... And, with a huge transition and move in front of us, I have lists everywhere. Written lists in my day planner. A moving notebook with check lists. Springpad is my new best friend. And on nights like tonight, the evening before my week "officially" starts (does it ever really end when you stay at home?), my mind is mentally preparing for all that I need to do this week.

But after reading this post over on The Creative Mama, I have decided to create a second list in my journal this week: things I am not doing. I am starting tomorrow by making coffee for a friend and doing nothing but catching up on our weekends. I am also choosing to donate the remainder of the items that I was going to try to sell on Craigslist: the hassle and time lost is not worth it with everything that must remain on the to-do list...

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By choosing to not do something, I am making a statement about what means the most to me. I recognize that  I don't do "Good-bye" well. I tend to leave with little fanfare, leaving the "goodbyes" and "You meant a lot to me" unsaid. So, this week, I am choosing to let certain chores go by the wayside in order to spend quality time with a friend. And I will let a couple of dollars go unearned in order to have some extra time to spend a couple of hours at the beach with my son...

My beginning-of-the-week list has never looked so good...